Are you a White or Black Woman?

In Ghana , I was to volunteer in two schools. I didn't know what I would do as I wasn't a teacher but I was open to whatever came my way. During my first week in Ghana I met three girls and a boy who were funded by the NGO I was on to attend school. The first thing they asked me was ‘Are you a black woman or a white woman?’ I found the question strange and I responded by sticking my arm out and comparing it to one of the girls and replied ‘How can I be white when I look just like you? I’m African just like you’. The girl smiled and responded by giving me a tight hug and the rest al followed suit saying ‘Madame madame you are just like us’. However, I was left feeling rather perplexed by their initial question, nothing about my features suggested I had a hint of white in me. Could they also be faced with the same complex I had as a kid that white equals privileged? Even in Africa where it is not a place where you meet white people everyday, how could they still feel like this? What were they being taught?

            

One of the girls later said to me, ‘I want to die because this life is not easy’ The girl was nine. I was troubled by her statement and asked her why she felt that way and she explained to me that her mum had left her when she was seven and went to live in another country without telling her and she lives with her grandmother. She had said she was going to church the day she left and she never came back. I asked her if she missed hermum and she nodded her head. I told her that I can be her friend as I would be there for the next five weeks to which she then proceeded to cry.

It took me back to when I first moved to the UK.  My mum had gone ahead of us and when she had managed to get enough money from all the cleaning jobs she did, she sent for us to come. It made me  regret ever being ashamed of her for not conforming to British culture and why she had held on so tightly to her culture. She didn't want us to forget who we were and where we came from and she was the only one who could make sure of that.  We don't always understand why our parents make certain decisions or sacrifices and sometimes we will never understand or appreciate as children until we become much older. That's why I believe this girl's mother couldn’t have just abandoned her as I believed her mother was doing the same thing my own mother had done 25 years ago.



And then it dawned on me what I was to do with the children. A self esteem workshop!